Men and women are alien both unto eachother and themselves. I am a woman, but that does not mean I understand what women are all about. I don't even know what I'm all about. Needless to say I am not sure what men are all about. The best I have is a few theories and assumptions, but that is not what this blog post about. I'm not even going to get into what blogs are all about.

The assignment is to transcibe a conversation between a man and a woman. That woman being me. So for the past few days I have been trying to catch myself in a significant conversation with a guy. Here is the best I could come up with:

Situation: February 13th, day before February 14th, Valentines Day. 9:30 pm. Phone conversation. *names changed to protect the individuals involved

Guy: So..... we're not gonna hang out tomarrow right?

Me: Yeah. Well, Hans - (interrupted)

Guy: Oh, that's right. You and Hans are supposed to hang out or something.

Me: Well, yeah, Hans actually ditched me.

Guy: Oh really?

Me: Yeah, Leah and her boyfriend broke up so Hans is gonna hang out with her.

Guy: Huh, well. We won't hang out anyway right? I mean, that's just cliché. It will be Valentines Day.

Me: No. What would be cliché is if we didn't hang out. Because if we don't hang out that would mean Valentines Day is dictating when we hang out. Thus Valentines Day has won.

Guy: Right. So... we could hang out.

Me: Yeah. I have class from 8 - 5 tomarrow. Then I'll be doing homework for a few hours after that. I have two tests on Friday. But I still want to hang out. Soooo...... how 'bout you call me when you are all ready to hang out.

Guy: Yeah. I'll call you after I'm done hanging out with my single friends. I don't want to ditch them. I'll be all sauced up so you can take advantage of me.

Me: Oh yeah, you are such a victim!

Guy: Haha, yeah. So I'll see you tomarrow.

Me: Yup. See you tomarrow.

Guy: Goodnight.

Me: Alright, Bye.

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There it is. The akward conversation with a guy. That's the conversation that I've had in the past week that even remotely relates to the assignment. I am usually very good in conversation with guys.

What of the anamoly about women that naturally communicate well with men and never have misunderstandings and double meanings in their words. And vice versa. Those women that just are "one of the guys." What's that all about? If men are from Mars and women from Venus......what happens if there are women from Mars? Or if there are men are from Venus? Does that happen? It seems today anything is possible.

Owl Monologue

It is February 9^th, never before have I felt like such a weirdo standing around on campus. I met my investigative partner, Ben; he seems highly motivated about the project. I can’t say the same for me. Although, owls are really cool, the chances I see or hear any seem to me, very slim. I’d say it’s about 25°F out here and the area is bathed in an orange glow thanks to the tall light poles that are supposed to bring me comfort. People keep trickling by, treading lightly on the sidewalk, for it is slippery. Snow is falling, but I don’t think it is from the sky, most likely the trees and lamp post. My feet betray me and my eyes are weary. This setup is not very promising. If I were a professional I would be better equipped…mentally. For now I hear only voices in the distance and passing cars. Not the flutter of owl wings. Not the soft hoot hoot of an owl’s voice. Thinking practically, I wish I smoked cigarettes to entertain myself. I wish I was stoned. I also wish my cell phone hadn’t died, for I wish to call someone and have them bring me a cig or food…or company. I’m so desperate I may abduct a passing stranger and con them into conversation, though people have stopped passing by. CIGARETTE! So what of these owls? If I were an owl I would be out or sleeping, not chirping around in these trees. Or what about copulating owls? It is close to that time of year right? Now THAT would be money. As my body temperature lowers so does my moral. Now I’m inside Linfield. I’m taking a quick break from the bitter cold. When my toes regain feeling I will venture forth again. Ahhh…sweet warmth. I wonder what Krista is doing. I am doing this for her so she can go hang out with her newly acquired boy toy. By boy toy I mean this really nice guy she just began dating. By the way, I’m back outside where snowballs are falling. Back to Krista. Kyle invited her for hamburgers and hottubbing. HOTTUBBING! What a cruel idea for me to dwell on. In fact I feel colder. Oh cruel world. A young man just walked by…I asked for the time. He said, “Time? Yeah. Sure.” And dug his cell out of his back pack to report 6:33pm. I’ve only been out here for 33 minutes. Another hour and 27 minutes to go. Hip Hip Hooray. Speaking of hip hip hooray, a nice alcoholic beverage would be much appreciated. “Excuse me, bartender dear, may I please have a double gin and tonic, light on the tonic. For my soul grows weary of fruitlessly awaiting signs of owl life.” Back inside. My throat is feeling rather sore, and as luck would usually have it I forgot my throat lozenges. I hope Ben doesn’t come back to find me hunched over this wooden table, dead, which has most certainly been loved, if only by me. It looks well used with finish scratched off and water stains. Back outside. It’s colder now. I can’t help but remind myself that I’m doing this for Krista and I shouldn’t complain. I mean I volunteered. I wish someone had piped up when I made the offer to say, “Are you out of your fucking mind?..........You are out of your fucking mind!” But this is something I already know. Seriously, I am such a victim.

Sparagmos

Sparagmos is the tearing and rending of living flesh. The very definition of this word is repulsive. It's hard to imagine in what context or story this would ever be read in. Certainly not a story I would enjoy reading too much, that's why the term is interesting. It's not the sort of thing you read in the paper police reports, see on the news, or witness in a bar fight. Although I suppose it's possible. So, being morbidly curious, I looked up sparagmos to get it in context and I found a nauseating example at http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1075464.

In Euripides' Bacchae, King Pentheus seeks to suppress the Dionysian cult with force, but is unable to prevent the women of Thebes from swarming into the mountains, among them his mother Agave and her two sisters. The king has Dionysus arrested, but the god easily frees himself and entices Pentheus to disguise himself as a woman and sneak into the woods to spy on the activities of the raving maenads. Adorned in a long, womanly robe and wearing a wig with long, blond curls, he is led as a victim to the maenads. With their bare hands they tear him limb from limb, his own mother tearing out his arm and shoulder. When the women return to the city, she returns with the head of Pentheus impaled on a stick. Only later, as she comes to her senses, does she realize that activities of the cult have lead to the sparagmos of her own son.

A description of sparagmos from Bacchae (lines 745-746):

... And then you could have seen a single woman with bare hands,
tear a fat calf, still bellowing with fright,
in two, while others clawed the heifers to pieces.
There were ribs and cloven hooves scattered everywhere,
and scraps smeared with blood hung from fir trees.
And bulls, their ranging fury gathered in their horns,
lower their heads to charge, then fell, stumbling
to the earth, pulled down by hordes of women
and stripped of flesh and skin more quickly, sire,
than you could blink your royal eyes.

Quite frankly, this is horrifying. Needless to say I didn't look for pictures. This is my first time encountering sparagmos and I have to say it is shocking. I don't quite remember how the topic was even broached in class. I guess sparagmos was normal back in the day of Greek mythology, and typical in stories. I noticed in these two examples it is just women committing these acts. Although on another web site it said that Oedipus Rex self-mutilated himself by gouging out his own eyeballs, which would be a form of sparagmos?? Appearantly sparagmos is important to know while reading this mythology and possibly important to know for the exam.